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Humor Kata Lucu Gokil Dan Kocak

Kata Lucu Gokil Dan Kocak

Pacar itu ibarat BlackBerry. Gue nggak punya BlackBerry.

Saat pagi, kasur dan WC sama-sama berusaha merebut perhatian kita.

Wanita suka pria yang gendut, gendut rekeningnya.

HP idaman itu yang secanggih iPhone, awet seperti Nokia, seberagam Android, dan semurah Mito.

Semacet macetnya kemacetan, nggak bakalan macet kalo emang lagi nggak macet.

Kejebak hujan aja nggak enak, apalagi kejebak kenangan masa lalu.

Dalam setiap ujian, selalu ada saja soal yang nggak tau jawabannya apa.

Payung itu lebih keren ketimbang jas hujan. Kalo payung bisa dipake saat panas, tapi kalo jas hujan dipake saat panas, pikir-pikir deh.

Facebook-an berjam-jam kuat, baca buku baru sebentar udah ngantuk.

Yang namanya hidup, kadang benar, kadang salah, kadang benar-benar salah.

Jika kau merasa sulit dan berat tuk melepaskannya, makanlah makanan yang banyak mengandung serat.

Nggak usah bangga kalo hafal banyak lirik lagu, pas ujian juga nggak bakalan ditaya.

Pacaran itu seperti tabung gas, orang tahu kalo itu bahaya, tapi tetep aja laku, giliran 'kecelakaan', nyalahin rame-rame.

Nasib bola yang semalam diperebutkan gimana? Giliran udah selesai, malah dicampakkan begitu saja.

Kemungkinan akhir pacaran: 1. digantungin; 2. diselingkuhin; 3. diputusin; 4. dihamilin; 5. dinikahin. Jadi, kemungkinan pacaran diakhiri dengan happy ending itu cuma 1:5. #UdahPutusinAja

Mencela orang itu nggak baik, apalagi mencelakakan orang.

Cepet banget malem Minggu, perasaan baru kemarin malam Sabtu.

Kesel itu pas ujian jawaban yang udah diisi diganti. Abis ujian ternyata baru tau kalo jawaban awal yang bener.

Mungkin yang bikin utang gampang dilupain itu karena huruf T nya, coba kalo tanpa huruf T.

Cinta tidak memandang status, karena cinta tidak punya akun Facebook.

Bahagia itu pas katanya mau ulangan, tapi tiba-tiba gurunya nggak masuk.

Seenak-enaknya makanan, jauh lebih enak kalo dibayarin.

Sekolah itu tempat untuk mencari ilmu, bukan tempat cari jodoh.

Tidak semua yang enak bisa dijadikan hobi. Misalnya, hobi nikah.

IPK bagus bukan jaminan gampang dapet pekerjaan, apalagi IPK yang jelek.

Katanya motor bebek, giliran kena banjir kok nggak bisa berenang?

Kejahatan bukan diawali dengan niat, tapi huruf K.

Waktu yang pas untuk unfriend seseorang di FB adalah ketika foto profil dan namanya berubah jadi online shop.

Dalam pernikahan, hal-hal kecil terkadang menjadi masalah. Misalnya, pendapatan suami yang terlalu kecil.

Saya bukan pemalas, saya lagi sibuk mengubah oksigen menjadi karbondioksida.

Tidak Melihat Bapak

Suatu hari ada seorang pengendara yang melanggar lampu lalu lintas kemudian ada polisi yang menghentikannya.
Polisi: Apakah Sodara tidak melihat lampu merah?
Pengendara: Lihat Pak.
Polisi: Lantas mengapa Anda tidak berhenti?
Pengendara: Saya nggak lihat Bapak.

Beli Tiket

Andre: Maksudnya apaan tuh tukang periksa tiket, bikin sebel aja.
Sule: Emang kenapa Ndre?
Andre: Itu lho tadi, gue udah beli tiket mahal-mahal masa disobek gitu aja.

Mencari Burung

Suatu hari ada seorang anak yang hendak membeli burung. Saking lamanya memilih burung yang hendak dibeli, akhirnya penjaga toko pun menegurnya.
Penjaga Toko: Dek, dari tadi lama liatin burung ini itu, mau beli burung yang mana?
Anak: Bentar Pak, ini lagi nyari nggak ketemu-ketemu.
(30 menit kemudian)
Penjaga Toko: Emang mau beli burung apa?
Anak: Angry Bird sama Flappy Bird, Pak.

Pasien RSJ

Seorang pasien RSJ hendak memesan makanan di restoran.
Pasien: Mas, pesen nasi sama ayam, tapi entar ayamya dipisah ya.
Pelayan: Emnang kenapa kok mesti dipisah?
Pasien: Saya takut kalo nasinya dimakan sama ayamnya.

Cerita Kakek Waktu Muda

Suatu hari seorang cucu meminta kakeknya agar menceritakan pengalamannya ketika muda.
Cucu: Kek, cerita dong masa muda kakek.
Kakek: Iya deh, dulu waktu kakek masih muda, cuma bawa uang 10 perak ke supermarket sudah dapet daging, susu, gula. Pokoknya dapet banyak belanjaan.
Cucu: Wah asyik dong, kalo sekarang gimana kek?
Kakek: Kalo sekarang susah, soalnya banyak CCTV.

Keluhan Gaji

Karyawan: Bos, saya kan sudah kerja di sini 3 tahun, tapi gajinya masih Rp 750.000.
Bos: Kamu maunya gimana?
Karyawan: Saya mau gaji saya jutaan, Bos.
Bos: Ok, sekarang gaji kamu setengah juta.
Karyawan: Hore! Makasih ya Bos!

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