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Humor Lomba Panah

Lomba Panah

Pada suatu perlombaan panahan, ada 3 peserta yg mengikutinya.
Peserta I dari Inggris
Peserta II dari Amerika
Peserta III dari Indonesia
Peserta I dari Inggris menunjukkan kebolehannya dengan meletakkan semangka di atas kepala seseorang. Setelah diukur, dikeker, dilepaskanlah anak panahnya ...... plesh....... ternyata semangkanya terbelah dua. Clap, clap, clap ........ tepuk tangan para penonton. Dengan bangganya si Inggris berkata : I AM ROBIN HOOD !
Peserta II dari Amerika meletakkan jeruk di atas kepala seseorang. Plesh......., ternyata jeruk itu terbelah dua. Clap, clap, clap.... penonton bertambah kagum ..... Si Amerika berkata : I AM SUPER..... MAN
Peserta III membuat penonton menahan napas, karena dia meletakkan sebuah duku di atas kepala seseorang. Anak panah ditarik ...., penonton terbelalak ........, plesh.... ternyata anak panah itu mengenai jidat orang itu dan matilah dia. Lalu si Indonesia berkata: I AM ..................... SORRY !

Biar Saja Tuhan Lihat

si Bejo punya pohon mangga yang lagi berbuah lebat, karena takut dicuri dia menulis di papan 'MESKI GUA GAK LIHAT LU NGAMBIL, TAPI TUHAN LIHAT ELU...!!!!

besoknya si Bejo melihat buah mangganya ternyata sudah habis dicuri, dan si pencuri mengganti tulisan di papan yang di pasang si Bejo dengan tulisan 'BIAR SAJA TUHAN LIHAT GUA, TAPI DIA GAK AKAN NGASIH TAU SAMA ORANG KIKIR MACAM LU...!!!'

Cerita Horor

ini adalah kisah nyata mimin saat mau pergi ke luar kota pake Bis. saat malam itu datanglah seorang bapak tua yg menjualkan buku pada aku.

Pak Tua : Beli buku dek...??
aku: Buku Horor ada ngak Pak..??
pak tua : Ada den..nih... judulnya "Bis maut"
aku : Berapa harganya pak...??
Pak tua : 150.000 den...
aku: hah...mahal banget pak?? uang saya cuma 160.000 trus nanti masa nanti jalan kaki
pak tua: aduuuhh..den..ini buku best seler..langka den pokoknya seram deh

akhirnya aku beli buku itu...walau duit cuma 10.000 buat ntar nyambung angkot kerumah..aku bela"in beli nih buku

Pak tua: denn..saya pesan buat aden..nanti kalo dah selesai baca bukunya ..nanti halaman terakhir buku itu jangan di baca yah..soalnya terakhir org yg membaca halaman terakhir buku itu langsung meninggal jantungan..karena seramnya..!!!

aku : iya..pak..

lanjut deh aku baca buku itu, ternyata emang seram banget apalagi suasana dakam Bus sepi dan hari udah malam . dan malam jumat lagi...?? lagi bikin bulu kuduk merinding....dan akhirnya sampailah saya pada halaman akhir buku itu....

Aku penasaran dong..masa sih halaman terakhir ini lebih seram..padahal kan ceritanya udah hampir habis.akhirnya aku beranikan diri untuk membuka halaman terakhir buku itu

tertulislah dihalaman terakhir itu

Penerbit: Cv. Mandala Jaya
Judul Buku : Bis Maut
Kategori : Horor
Harga : Rp 15.000

Aku: somprett dahhh...%&%&^$^%*(*%^
harga buku cuma 15.000 gue beli 150.000
pantes ajah org terakhir yg beli nih buku kumat jantungnya di tipu ma tu Pak tua....

Aku: Grrrr...rrhhh (ayan kambuh...!!!)

Karyawan Dan Bosnya

Seorang karyawan menghadap ke bosnya. Ia berkata dengan serius, "Bapak sebaiknya menaikkan gaji saya, sekarang juga."
atasan ;Apa alasannya?" tanya si bos dengan sinis tanpa menoleh sedikit pun
karyawan;Perlu Bapak ketahui, sekarang ini sudah ada lima perusahaan besar dan bonafid yang sedang mengejar-ngejar saya."
kali ini si atasan menoleh. Dengan penasaran ia bertanya, "Oh, ya? Perusahaan apa saja itu?" tanyanya dengan nada cemas
karyawan;Citibank, PAM, PLN, TELKOM, dan terakhir BTN."
gguuuubrakkkkk....%^&(*^%^$%

Kepintaran Seorang Jony

Polisi : Gimana kejadiannya, kamu menabrak 50 orang dalam suatu kecelakaan mobil!?
Jony : waktu ngendarain mobil, kecepatannya 95 km/jam. Waktu di pertigaan, baru nyadar kalo remnya blong, dibelokan kiri ada dua orang pria, sedangkan dikanan ada pesta ulang taun manula. Kalo bapak milih yang mana?
Polisi : mendingan ke kiri, korbannya bakalan lebih sedikit.
Jony : iya, saya juga mikir gitu pak!
Polisi : tapi kenapa orang yang sedang ngerayain ultah kena juga?
Jony : nah, masalahnya kan tadi saya milih nabrak dua orang pria yang dikiri. Eh, yang ketabrak cuman seorang, seorang lagi lari ke pesta ultah yang ada dikanan, ya udah..saya kejar sampe ke pesta ultah pak!
Polisi : :Huuuuhhhh Dasarrrrr Somplaxxxx

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