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Humor Cara Ekstrim Berhenti Merokok

Cara Ekstrim Berhenti Merokok

      Doni adalah seorang perokok berat. Bahkan bisa dibilang dia sudah kecanduan merokok. Namun, dia berniat untuk berhenti, dan mencari cara berhenti merokok. Doni mendatangi seorang dokter untuk berkonsultasi.

Doni : "tolong dok beri saya petunjuk supaya kebiasaan merokok saya bisa ilang"

Dokter : "memang kamu beneran niat untuk berhenti?"

Doni : "iya dok, saya udah coba berbagai cara tapi kecanduan saya masih aja ga ilang-ilang"

Dokter : "saya punya metode yang sangat ekstrim. Caranya begini tiap kamu mau ngerokok, batang rokok itu kamu oleskan tai ayam lalu kamu cium, anda pasti jijik dan ga mau ngisep rokok itu, lakukan berulang-ulang tiap anda merasa ingin merokok sampai anda benar-benar ga mau lagi merokok"

Singkat cerita Doni mempraktekkan saran si dokter dan beberapa bulan kemudian dia datang kembali menemui dokter

Dokter : "wah, anda kan yang waktu itu ingin berhenti merokok kan, gimana manjur ga metode saya?"

Dengan nada meninggi dan penuh emosi Doni membeberkan yang sudah terjadi

Doni : "Metode anda memang manjur, dok. Sekarang saya sudah tidak kecanduan rokok lagi."

Dokter : "Bagus dong, kalau begitu?"

Doni : Bagus apanya? Sekarang saya malah kecanduan ngisep tai ayam!!!"

Dokter : @amp;*()#$%

Ingin Jadi Powan

      Seorang ibu bertanya kepada anaknya yang berusia 6 tahun, perihal cita-cita sang anak kelak setelah dewasa.

"Kamu nanti kalau sudah besar mau jadi apa nak?"

Dengan semangatnya sang anak menjawab, "Aku mau jadi polwan bu."

Dengan tegas ibunya menjawab, "Tidak boleh!" Si anak merasa heran lalu mengganti jawabannya.

"Kalau tidak boleh jadi polwan, aku mau jadi peragawati saja bu."

Kini si ibu semakin marah, "Apa-apaan kamu, masa mau jadi peragawati. Tidak boleh!"

Si anak mulai merasa takut, lalu menjawab dengan gemetar, "Kenapa semua tidak boleh bu, apa aku cuma boleh jadi ibu rumah tangga saja?"

Si ibu sekarang tidak marah lagi. Namun ia menangis dan memeluk anaknya dan berkata.

"Kamu ini laki-laki Herman!"?

Bertamu Ke Rumah Orang Kaya

     Suatu ketika, Jono bertamu ke rumah teman lamanya yang kini sudah menjadi orang kaya. Namun ternyata teman lamanya, Benny sudah berubah, dia tidak seperti Benny yang Jono kenal dulu.

Benny : Mau Minum Apa....?? Jus, teh, Coklat, Capucino, Frapucino, atau kopi.??

Jono : Teh aja, makasih.

Benny : Tehnya teh Ceylon, india, herbal, hijau, madu ?

Jono : Teh Ceylon aja

Benny : Pake es atau hangat..?

Jono : Pake es aja

Benny : Es nya es batu, es serut, atau di hancurkan?

Jono : Oh.... gak usah repot-repot. Es batu aja.

Benny : Es batunya mau bentuk kubus, pipih, bulat, atau bentuk hati ?

Jono : Hati aja...

Benny : Baik, Anda mau teh nya hitam apa hijau ?

Jono : Hitam

Benny : Dengan susu atau krim segar ?

Jono : Susu donk.

Benny : Susu kambing atau sapi ?

Jono : Susu Sapi donk...

Benny : Sapi Selandia Baru atau Afrika ?

Jono : Kalo gitu gak jadi teh hitam, the hijau aja deh.

Benny : Oke, Mau pemanisnya pake gula atau madu ?

Jono : Gula.

Benny : Gula bit atau tebu?

Jono : Gula tebu.

Benny : Tebu nya putih, coklat, atau kuning?

Jono : Huaaaa.. hu.. hua.... Saya minum air putih aja deh ( Mulai stress dan menangis )

Benny : Dingin atau biasa?

Jono : Yang dingin.

Benny : Minus 5, 10, 20, atau 30 ?

Jono : Maaf pak saya mau pulang aja.

Benny : Oke, pulangnya mau lewat mana ? Pintu Lobby, koridor, atau backstage ?

Jono : KAMPREET !!.....(Jejelin Benny Pake GOLOK)

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