Humor Dosen Baru Dan Si Otong

Dosen Baru

Dosen : Eh qm..! Knp tdk
memperhatikan saya didepan??
Indy : saya kan udh punya pacar pak,
masa saya disuruh memperhatikan
bpk?

Dosen : (gebrak meja) maksud saya
knp qm tdk memperhatikan mata
kuliah yg saya ajarkan di depan??
Indy : oh.. bilang donk dr tadi..
Dosen : Eh qm jgn macam2 ya sm saya,
sapa nama qm?
Indy : Indy Cua pak..

Dosen : apa itu Cua?
Indy : Cuantik gituuh..
Dosen : Aiss, muka kya pantat panci
az bangga loe!!
Indy : (dlm hati) kuampret..!

Dosen : asli org mana qm??
Indy : org hutan pak..
Dosen : Cetarrr (sentil kuping indy)
qm jgn main2 ya sm saya..! Masa asli org
hutan Hah??

Indy : ih bpk norak bnget sih.., Dulu
itu indonesia awal mulanya hutan
pak, Sama kaya kerajaan maja manis,
semua serba hutan pak..

Dosen : (Teriak) KERAJAAN MAJA
PAHIT DODOL..! BUKAN MAJA MANIS..!!!
Indy : itu kan dulu pak, tp skrg udh
dikasih gula.. jadi gk pahit lagi. skrg
jd manis, sama manisnya kaya saya
gituuh..

Dosen : aihh.. Dasar mahasiswi
eddan!!

Udh brp lama qm dikampus sini hah?
Indy : udh 6 tahun pak..
Dosen : kalau sdh 6 tahun knp masih
semester 2 ??
Indy : 5 tahunya saya jualan es cendol
disini pak, kuliahnya bru 1 tahun ini..

Dosen : Tepok Jidat

Wkwkwk

SI OTONG

Si Otong adalah seorang bocah yang nakal
dan tak mau mendengar nasihat emaknya.
Dia sering pipis didalam lubang yang
ditemuinya.

Emaknya seringkali berkata kepada si Otong.
" tong... elu kalo pipis jangan seenaknya,
mentang-mentang ada lubang trus main
pipis aje luh,
siapa tau itu sarang tawon, nanti kena
sengat baru tau rasa ! "

Itulah nasihat yang selalu diberikan emaknya
Otong kepadanya ...
Namun dasar anak nakal si Otong tetap aja
cuek.

Pada satu hari dia seperti biasa pipis di
dalam sebuah lubang
deket rumahnya ...

Tiba-tiba keluar tawon dan terus menyengat
'anunya' si Otong. hammer

Otong pun kaget dan terus lari ke ibunya
sambil meringis kesakitan.
Sejak hari itu dia tidak berani lagi pipis
kedalam lubang,
pokoknya trauma deh ama yg namanya
'lubang'

(takut disengat tawon lagi).
Setelah dewasa Otong pun bertemu dengan
seorang gadis, pacaran dan kemudian
kimpoi.

Tibalah pada hari yang dinantikan itu.
Setelah selesai resepsi ... Otong dan isterinya
masuk kedalam kamar.

Tetapi sesampainya di kamar si Otong diem
aja, nggak berani

menyentuh isterinya karena masih trauma
dgn kejadian waktu dia kecil dulu.

Lalu isterinya bertanya
" Kenapa abang kok keliatan takut ? "
" Otong pun berkata "Abang takut didalam
situ ada tawonnya ... !! ",

" nggak ada lah ... !! " jawab isterinya.
Tapi si Otong masih nggak percaya, .... maka
isterinya berkata " baiklah... coba masukkan jari abang dulu
dan liat ada tawon nggak di dalamnya ? "

Otong pun setuju dan memasukkan jarinya
ke dalam 'anu' isterinya.

Namun ... dengan perasaan marah dia
mengeluarkan jarinya dan berkata kepada
isterinya,

" Kata siapa nggak ada tawon ... nih
madunya ada !!! "

Presiden Dan Ibu Tua Penjual Kue

Presiden bertanya pada ibu tua penjual kue,
Bpk : "Sudah berapa lama jualan kue?"
Ibu : "Sudah hampir 30 tahun.

Bpk : "Terus anak ibu mana, kenapa tidak
ada yang bantu?" ...
Ibu : "Anak saya ada 4, yang
ke-1 di KPK,
ke-2 di POLDA,
ke-3 di Kejaksaan dan yang
ke-4 di DPR, jadi mereka sibuk
sekali pak..."

Presiden kemudian
menggeleng-gele -ngkan kepala karena
kagum...

Lalu dengan percaya diri Bapak Presiden
berbicara kesemua hadirin yang menyertai
beliau, "Meskipun hanya jualan kue, ibu ini
bisa menjadikan anaknya sukses dan jujur
tidak korupsi...karen -a kalau mereka
korupsi,

pasti kehidupan Ibu ini sudah sejahtera
dan tinggal dirumah
mewah..."

Lalu sambil mengarahkan mike
yang sedang di pegangnya ,Bapak Presiden
kembali
berbicara kepada wanita penjual kue
tersebut ...

Bpk : "Apa jabatan anak di POLDA,
KPK,KEJAKSAAN dan DPR?"

Lalu dengan polosnya sang wanita penjual
kue tersebut itu berkata :"Sama... mereka
berjualan kue juga disana ..."
Bpk : @_@ Sambil Kejang Kejang

The Painting of Destiny

"Are you sure of this, Navan?" The old pirate stared at King Mannas' chief merchant. However, his bright emerald green eyes sparkled with laughter. "The information came from Daoud, one of my former crew members, when I was ravaging the coastal villages of Vyrone." Navan smiled at the expression crossing Gerrod's face, whose family had fled from one of these villages. The Iron Falcon was a legend and parents had always used the threat of its crew and its flaming-haired captain to scare naughty children into sleeping and behaving differently. Gerrod quickly recovered and smiled. "Then he must be a man to be trusted, indeed." "Ah!" cried Navan. "Daoud will take the coin from the mouth of a dead man while it is still warm. I trust him only because he knows the fate of him who lies to me." I may have made him captain when I decided to infiltrate King Mannas' court, but he still knows who is in charge. "We must tell ...

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