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Humor Tukang Daging Dan Jual Kambing

Jual Kambing

 Bejo : mak..... emak sakit ya???
Emak : iya jo...
Bejo : hmm...kita ke dokter yuk...
Emak : mau bayar pake apa'an....kan duit
kita udah tipis jo..
Uhukk...uhukk

Bejo : kita jual si tole(kambing) aja mak..
Emak : tapi kan tuh kambing kesayangan
elu....
Bejo : kan bejo lbh sayang emak...
Emak : terserah elu aja dah...

Bejo : ya udah..bejo jual ke pasar ya mak...
Emak : iye...inget ya jo...tuh kmbing
bandot..lu jual jutaan...
Jangan mau kalo ditawar murah..sayang....
Bejo : iya mak..bejo juga tau...kn bejo dah
capek2 ngerawat...

Kalo gitu bejo pamit ya mak....
berangkat jual kambing

Tak lama kemudian

bejo : mak...kambing kita laku..jutaan...
Emak : alhamdulillah....
Bejo : pertamanya dia cuma nawar 500rb
mak..

Ihh enak aja...kambingnya ditawar murah
bnget...kagak bejo kasih...
Emak : bagus tuh jo..emang pembeli jman
sekarang maunya murah mulu'...terus... Lu
jawab apa wktu dia nawar gitu...

Bejo : bejo bilang...pesan emak kambingnya
mesti dihargai jutaan pak...
Gitu mak...
Alhamdulillah....setelah mikir lama...
Akhirnya dia mau juga....harga jutaan..

Bejo : Memang berapa jo dia beli tuh
kambing???berapa juta???
Bejo : setengah juta mak...
Hebat kan...sesuai pesan
emak..jutaan...gimana???puas mak???
Emak : Lempar Sendal ke Bejo

ha ha ha

Tukang Daging

Suatu pagi lewatlah seorang penjual
daging."Dageeeng! Dageeeeennngg! !!"

teriaknya. Seorang ibu rumah tangga yang
sedang sakit gigi sewot banget
mendengarteriak an si tukang daging.

Ibu :
"Hei tukang daging!
Lu kagak punya otak ya....!!!???

Tukang daging : "Wah
kebetulan gak punya, Bu. Hari ini daging semua..."

Guru koplax tingkat dewa

Guru : "Anak anak, Indonesia terletak
antara dua samudra dan dua...?"
Murid : "Benuaaaa....!"

Guru : "Salah ! Yang benar Indonesia
terletak diantara dua samudra dan dua
duanya amatlah dalam...!"

Guru : "Sekarang flora dan fauna. Kalau
ikan paus binatang mamalia , buaya
binatang reptilia, kambing binatang
herbivora. Sedangkan macan adalah
binatang....?"

Mudrid : "Carnivora !"
Guru : "Kalian ini memang
goblok ....Macan adalah binatang yang
amat menakutkan...!"
Murid : ??????

Guru : "Sekarang tentang kesehatan.
Kemarin si budi jatuh dari pohon, dia
pingsan, tungkainya mengenai batu
tajam sehingga keluar...?"
Murid : "Darahhh....!"

Guru : "Eeee e e eee, Benar benar
goblok! Yang benar Dia pingsan,
tungkainya mengenai batu tajam
sehingga keluarganya menangis...!"

Murid: "nelen spidol "

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