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Humor Diet

Percakapan Call Center KFC

Customer : halloo KFC?
Operator KFC : iya, ada yg bisa di bantu?
Customer  : ayame ana apa ora?
Operator KFC : oh ada
Customer  : ayo.. adu sama ayam saya
Operator KFC : #%(%^@^*(

Nelpon Sesama Operator

Di kantin, saat jam istirahat makan siang.
UDIN : wan hp lo baru yaa?? liat dong
IWAN : Nih... !!!
UDIN : Mantap wan hp loe layar sentuh
IWAN : (agak sombong) Pasti dong broo...
UDIN : Tapi gua heran deh sama loe, kok daftar kontak loe cowok semua?? gak ada ceweknya sama sekali. Gua jadi curiga nih.
IWAN : Yaa payah, loe emang blom tau??
UDIN : Belum tau apaan…?
IWAN : Kan kalo NELPON & SMS KE SESAMA itu tarifnya murah bro...

Cewek Dan Bule

Seorang cewek yang nggak begitu bisa berbahasa Inggris, nubruk seorang bule ketika jalan-jalan di Mall.
Cewek : "I'm sorry."
Bule : "I'm sorry,too."
(Si Cewek bingung, kok bulenya ngejawab "I'm sorry dua" (too??!) Kemudian cewk tersebut menjawab lagi)
Cewek : "Oh yes, I'm Sorry three."
Bule : "What for?"
(Lho kok empat (for??), wah diterusin kali, pikir cewek tersebut.
Cewek : I,m sorry five."
Bule : "Are you Sick??" (sambil heran)
(Waduh, kok diterus2in pikir cewek tersebut. Habis sick (pikirnya enam), pasti seven, ntar habis seven .. wah apa yaa?? .. mendingan cabut aja deh, pikir cewek tersebut.)
(Lalu sambil berjalan cepat meninggalkan bule tersebut, si cewek menyahut.)
Cewek : "I'm sorry, seven, bye bye."
Bule : "??!!"

Diet

Pagi itu setiap kali bangun TuLia selalu merasa resah dan sedih melihat keadaan bandannya yang begitu bongsor. Tulian selalu iri melihat teman-temannya yang memiliki badan ideal dan langsing.
Hari berikutnya Tulia memutuskan untuk pergi ke dokter spesialis.Dengan penuh gembira, Tulian pun akhirnya menemui dokter spesialis tersebut.

Tulia:
Dok! ku punya masalah besar dok?

Dokter:
Masalah....sepertinya Mbak terlihat sehat-sehat saja,tidak ada masalah kok! Seru dokter.

Tulia:
Apa dokter tidak bisa melihat badan saya ini! (Seru Tulia sedikit kesal).

Dokter:
(Tersenyum....)

Tulia:
Dok tolong berikan obat yang bisa membuat ku segera kurus.

Dokter:
Kalau Mbak ingin kurus, Mbak tidak perlu minum obat. Mbak cukup menggelengkan kepala mbak ke kiri dan ke kanan.

Tulia:
Itu saja dok, (jawab tulia penuh semangat) Jadi kapan aku harus menggelengkan kepala, pagi, siang, sore atau malam? (Tanya Tulia penuh semangat)

Dokter:
Cukup ketika ada orang yang menawari Mbak MAKAN.

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