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Humor Senjata Makan Tuan

Senjata Makan Tuan

Seorang wartawan sedang meliput peristiwa kecelakaan. Karena banyak orang yg mengerumuni lokasi kecelakaan, wartawan tsb tdk dpt menerobos untuk melihat korban dari dekat. Setelah berpikir keras, wartawan tsb dpt ide.
"Minggir-minggir semua, saya ayah korban!" ia berseru. "Saya minta jalan." Benar saja.....kerumunan itu membiarkan dia lewat. Semua mata terarah kepada wartawan tsb. (wartawan GR, dalam hati: "Berhasil juga!!!) Ketika sampai di tengah kerumunan, ia terpana melihat... SEEKOR ANAK MONYET tergeletak tak berdaya!

Bayi Laki-laki Keluarga

Bidan : selamat Bapak, bayi anda laki laki dan sehat !
Jaja : wah senengnya !
Bidan : Namanya siapa Pak ?
Jaja : oh, namanya Jastin Biber
Bidan : wah Bapak dan Ibu ngefans dengan Justin Bieber yah?
Jaja : Tidak kok bu… itu hanya singkatan dari jaja sama titin serta bikinnya di jember
Bidan : huhuhuu. . .

Salah Masuk

Dengan tergesa-gesa seorang nyonya masuk ke sebuah ruangan yang ia kira itu ruangan dokter.
Nyonya : "Dokter, apa yang salah ditubuh saya?"
Laki" : "Nyonya, anda terlalu gemuk, pupur anda terlalu tebal, lipstick anda terlalu merah, rambut anda perlu dicat, anda terlalu banyak merokok, dan satu lagi... anda masuk keruangan yang salah. Dokter ada di ruangan sebelah. Saya hanya pengantar koran."

Pembantu Songong

Boby kerumah temennya....tapi
gag ada, pembantu temennya menemuinya untuk nawarin minum

P : mau minum apa mas.... yg panas apa yg dingin....?
Boby: yg panas aja...
P; mo kopi apa teh... mas
Boby: kopi aja...
P: kopi arabika apa robusta
Boby: arabika aja...
P: mo koip pahit, manis apa pake susu.
Boby :(mulai kesel) udah kopi susu
P: mo pk susu sapi susu kambing apa susu kuda liar..
Boby: susu sapi (makin kesel)
P: sapi australia apa sapi jawa...
Boby: haaaaaahhh... Aku ga mau kopi.... air putih biasa aja....
P: oooo... air putih nya air zam2 apa air pegunungan...
Baby : (dah ga sabar lgi) air pegunungan...
P: yg dri gunung merapi apa gunung krakatau mas....
Boby. : haaaaa gila ni orang... gag jadi aku mo pulang aja...
P : pulang mo lwat pintu belakang apa pintu depan mas...
Boby: AKU LEWAT JENDELA....
P: YA UDAH...

Humor Lalat

4 Pendekar Dari 4 Negara Di sebuah kisah,di suatu tmpat diadakan adu kesaktian yang di ikuti 4 negara, berikut nama-nama dari perwakilan negaranya masing-masing.
-Kenji-Japan
-Muler-jerman
-Albert-Rusia
-Sule-indonesia
ke 4 pendekar tersebut memperlihatkan kesaktiannya masing-masing yang d awali oleh kenji, kenji: *cabut samurai*,lihat dengan mata kepala kalian....*sreeenggggg* kenji melesatkan samurainya ke lalat yang terbang yg sedang terbang diatasnya yang terbelah mnjadi 2, penonton pun bertepuk tangan..

Muler: aahhh itu gak seberapa,,lihat saya.." muler yang gak mau kalah, mengeluarkan pistol..dannnn *dooorrrr* menembak lalat sehingga menjadi 3 bagian.. Penontonpun bersorak"..

Albert: itu juga gak seberapa,lihat aksi saya" albert pun tak mau ketinggalan,daannnn *booommmmm* albert menimpuk lalat dengan geranat, sehingga lalat trsebut menjadi 5 bagian.. Penontonpun berdiri dan bersorak"..

Giliran dari indonesia..
Sule: mmmmmmm*haya
terdiam* lihat baik" aksi saya.."sule pun mngeluarkan golok,daannnn..*seepppp*,,.. Para penonton terdiam,,karena lalat masih bisa terbang,lalu Kenji;Muler;Albert bertanya:"hahahaha, mana kehebatan kamu,lihat lalatnya masih bisa terbang"..
Sule: "lalat itu memang masih bisa terbang,tapi saya berhasil MENYUNATINYA, hahaha"
penontonpun tepuk tangan dengan sangat meriah...
Wkwkwkwkwkw

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