Cerpen Man in Rain (Part 1)

Being compare with my sister is the worst thing I ever had in my life; I always get compare with her in every single detail I made. Actually, I never ever think about that compare thing because I really don't care with that, I am who I am! I don't want to be someone else especially like my sister Rebecca- she's only one year older than me. Mum and Dad really love and proud to have a daughter like her, of course everybody love her she's kind and smart in every lessons at school and always got the first rank so opposite with me who's never ever feel how's in the first rank.

I thought I've studied enough to reach all those Becky's things, but I always failed and failed so made me desperate. That's why I keep on mind not even tried to be like her again! I decided to be me just the way I am. 'Silly, could you help me? Please give those cookies and tea to Josh, he's on living room I want to take a bath and prepare for a while'.

I hate the way she talks to me when need my help, sounds different as usual she angry with me. I look at her with a boring face 'I'll help you if you stop calling me Silly! You know my name's Lucy don't even try to change it'. 'Uh! Whatever just does what I've told to you' and she ran to her room, left me with bad mood.

Seriously, I was lazy to meet her boyfriend I mean Josh. He didn't look bad he was a good-looking and as smart as Becky, only he didn't realize that I do love him before my sister start going out with him. I put the cookies and a cup of tea on the table while Josh was still busy with his phone, suddenly he realized that I was there standing beside of him 'Thanks Luce, has Becky already finished?'

'She hasn't already yet, may be just a moment' I guessed. After met Josh I go back to Dining room and sitting on the chair, I think nothing with flat face I see Becky walk elegantly to the living room. I was so envy of her, I should be like Becky who is going out with Josh the boy I truly love until today, tomorrow or probably forever, I don't know.

—

Rainy day and it means wet everywhere, I don't like this situation while I didn't bring my umbrella so I'm still stuck in front of school. Becky has gone home with Josh of course with his car; I couldn't go with them because I haven't been out yet. I look around and there are many students can't go home too.

'Do you want to go home with me?' asked a voice from the boy who is holding an umbrella. At first, I confused and I did not know who he was, but I want to go home 'yes, if you ask me to' then I stand beside him. 'By the way, who are you? I think we never met each other before' I try to ask him a question that runs in my mind.

He smiles and sees straight 'FYI I know you but you don't, my name's Ed' he mentioned his name. 'You've known me? Really I didn't know you' I still have curious with him. 'We used to be in the same English class last year'.

It's perfectly surprising me, Why I don't know about him? He used to be my classmate. I feel totally like a foolish and individualism. Time's running so fast, I've been home and keeps silent with the boy who was walking with me under an umbrella.
Then I say, 'Thanks for helping me, Do you want to sit in?'. 'No, thank you maybe next time I will' he smiled so adorable. He went away from my eyes through the three junctions, with his black umbrella.

—

In the bedroom, I still think about Ed. He such an addictive drug makes me so addicted to remember his face, the way he smiled and talked to me although he just spoke not too much. His brown eyes really friendly, I like it. Stop! I can't go on this, I can't think him more. Wake up Luce! He is just stranger although he used to be my classmate, who cares? However, I do care.

All right, I admit to feel regret all about on the past now and I just realized there are so many people out there, so what's for I still want Josh? He is Becky's boy and of course I don't like her second thing. 'Lucy! Come over here!' oh my God. I can't stand with Becky's voice. I really want her to stop screaming me like that every day, God please listen to my pray for this time.

I walk and come in to her bedroom, 'What the hell are you screaming so loud? We just spaced by thin wall'. And I fell angrier because she just stared at me without answering my question. 'Just tell me what do you want and I gonna do it for you'.

What an awkward moment! She throws me my diary. I get paralyze in my place, so speechless. 'I'm a thief! Why? Why do you love him?' finally Becky out of her voice. 'Did you read my diary? Sorry, I didn't mean to love him deeper than you do' and now I fell so stupid and careless have left my private life thing not in save place.

'For God's sake, if you tell me about this I won't let myself love him,' then Becky cries a lot. What should I do now? I've been not thinking about Josh anymore, I didn't love him again since he said he loves Becky 'it was a long time ago Becky, please trust me! He just love you not me'. Slowly, Becky stop crying with teardrops on her face, she smiled and look at my eyes 'are you sure?'.

I walk closer to her and hug tightly and I whispered in her ear 'yes, I'm not that kind of hoes. You're my best sister and so impossible to grab him after I knew he loves you'. I just regret why the last time I could not tell Josh how I was love him and now it is too late to go back to the last time and take it as a problem. I've learned about something that not always for me to own and I'll let it go.

Becky and I have a promise to ourselves, not to tell anybody about yesterday. May be people think I was a hypocrite just let them be happy on my pain, no! Do not think like that. Hurt for sure but I didn't have any love to Josh and however I love Becky, I don't want her to be sad and I guess, I have other feeling in my heart.

Cerpen Karangan: Retno Regrisa
Blog: Regrisuck.blogspot.com
find me at @rregrisa