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Cerpen Anti Air



Bermalas-malasan memang cara yang tepat dan akurat buat mengisi hari-hari saat nganggur, dari pada ngelakuin hal-hal yang negatif kan bisa merugikan diri sendiri dan orang lain. Betul??? Tapi saking malasnya setiap hari gw sibuk dikamar ampe badan gw putihan karena jarang terkena sinar matahari xixixixix

Repotnya gw tinggal di sukabumi dan semua orang juga pasti tau kalo di sini tuh udaranya dingin rek, jadi punya kebiasaan buruk lagi neh, yaitu males mandi J*lagiankan gw dirumah aja ga kemana-mana, ngapain juga mandi boros-borosin sabun aja!!! dengan begini kan gw bisa menghemat sabun so membantu perekonomian keluarga kan betul??? heu heu…

Gw si enjoy aja walau berhari-hari ga mandi lagian orang-orang disekitar gw juga kayanya ga ngerasa keganggu tuh, paling ponakan gw yang baru dua tahun jadi nangis pas gw cium trus langsung kabur pas gw nyoba ngedeketin “ma… si om bau!!!!” begitu teriakan ponakan gw yang lagi lucu-lucunya *ah dasar anak kecil terlalu jujur

Tapi gara-gara males mandi gw dapet julukan baru dari nyokap yaitu doger ke dua, sebenarnya doger itu nama kucing kesayangan nyokap. Bushet deh gw disamain sama kucing padahalkan gantengan gw kemana-mana dari pada si doger “ter la lu…!!!”L tapi mungkin itu ungkapan kekesalan nyokap karena gw males mandi

Gw jadi inget kejadian waktu kecil dulu,saat gw males mandi bokap dengan gagah perkasa ngangkat tubuh gw dan ngelemparin gw ke kolam ikan heu heu… ,tapi sekarang ko dia diem aja ya apa udah ga seperkasa dulu lagi??? xixixixix

Bushet…!!! udah hampir seminggu bro gw ga mandi paling cuman gosok gigi sama cuci muka doang heu heu * itu juga kalo lagi pengen J beruntung stok deodoran masih banyak so aman dari bau badan J kayanya bentar lagi gw bakal masuk muri nih yaitu sebagai orang terlama ga mandi xixixixix

Tapi ternyata kelamaan ga mandi bikin rezeky tambah seret buktinya setiap gw ngelamar kerja pasti ditolak *itu si lo nya aja kali yang ga mutu!!! Selain rezeki yang seret jodoh juga seuseut ga ada seorang cewe pun yang rela gw deketin *yaiayalah mana ada cewe yang mau sama cowo bau!!!

Akhirnya dengan sangat terpaksa gw mandi juga dari pada hidup gw jadi makin seret, tapi percaya ga percaya saat gw mandi kampung pasir jengjing tempat gw tinggal diguyur hujan lebat padahal biasanya panas loh… J ternyata mitos zaman dulu benar kalo mandiin kucing pasti ujan gede… xixixixix

Cerpen Karangan: Robi


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